had i ever caught pregnant, this might have ended up being me:


Drunk mom allegedly runs through school with sword

23 commentsFeb. 25, 2010 06:47 PM
Associated Press

MEMPHIS, Tenn. – Police said the mother of an elementary school student drank a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor before brandishing a sword in her child's school.

The woman, 32, apparently intended to confront the parents of another child who had been in a spitting match with her child the previous day.

According to court records, an employee at Riverview Elementary School in Memphis reported a drunk woman armed with a sword was running through the halls of the school and had threatened to cut her.

Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black cane that concealed the blade.

The woman charged with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school property.

What a lightweight!

Also, I want a sword. Also, in a way, a sword is scarier to me than a gun to be theoretically threatened with for one reason alone: you got to be fucking nuts to threaten someone with a sword.